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Wednesday, May 14, 2008 10:57 PM

Depressing day of my life

I totally screwed up every single paper. I might be satisfied for some though as i never expected certain results, but there are always room for imporvement and although i have paid lots and lots of hardwork, some doesnt even paid off. And you all might know, my expectations are really low but ever since i entered sec 2, the expectations just increases.
This MYA thing just spoils my mood for freedom, they are just infringing the right for happiness in our lifes! So now, my feeling is sad sad sad emo emo emo but perhaps a little small flower of joy that i passed all, but the marks arent what i really wish, i really want.
History
This is the freaking first paper i have gotten. The sensation of wanting to score really high is really strong as my expectations for history has gone up due to the mark i got in the beginning of the year, i really hope for at least a 3.6 for my history, but i got only a 3.2 this time, bringing down my GPA to 3.6 in the overall subject now. It might be really high to me last year, but now, NO. i really want something good and not below the average. i might not be even fit to enter this school.
Math
This is really close to horror in my life. I really didnt want to flunk this paper as i know this cant go on anymore especially if i wanna pass my math overalls. I have already failed my first exam paper although many found it really really easy and passed with flying colours, but i was just dumb and failed it by 1/2 mark and the MH refuse to give me my mark to pass. I really wished to pass my dear dear dear math as i really didnt wanna fail anything seriously. I got back my paper and i expected a 40/50 to pull up my beginning of the year exams, but i onlli got 36/40. so much worst manz... i think i onli like got a 2.4 if i'm not wrong, can some intellectual person help me calculate.. See, i'm dumb and hopeless.
Bio
Oh no... i really hoped for a 4.0 for bio.it was my favourite science of all the modules. I really worked really hard for this MYA, making notes day and nite and mug like mad, i think it doesnt pay off at all. 45/50 was my dream score cos only with that, i can get 4.0, then suddenly, i got like 36/50, its like so much more below wad i want la, like 10 marks. Maybe hard work and what you wan doesnt pay off and doesnt show good results no matter how much time, effort u put in... My SPA was really really good, like a 28/35, it pulled me up, i rejoiced in the morning when i got it, but when i realise it was onli 10%, i was like totally demoralise cos i totally screwed up my PT, with all my dear effort put in sewing my model. haiz....
Chinese
I think this is the only subject i am happy abt lor, but then the overall is totally demoralising, i onli got 2.4 because my previous comprehension only got like a scrap pass 30/60. I HATE MY SELF! But then, i was trembling thinking i le3 ti3, my friend help me see the mark and told me i pass and wacked me saying that i got 51! i totally freaked out la, never get so high for chinese before in my life leh, 51/70!!! Its considered good for compostitions i guess...
Geography
This is the most demoralising subject i had today, totally just cried la, but no one saw xD pro rite? Geo was totally my best best subject last year with i guess 3.6 everytime, no 4.0 for me last year! I had really high expectations with me. i planned for a 3.6 but i only got like a 2.4? i suck i suck i never get so screwed up for humanities, i should mug like crazy next time as this dumb pig here doesnt absorb stuff properly. i screwed up the paper with onli scoring 16.5 outa 28! i totally missed the overall score of 2.8. i am horrible and horrible and shouldnt stay in this school becuase i totally suck in all areas.
ENGLISH AND LIT
this two subjects are really hopeless. English 25/50 (teacher lenion then give me a pass) lit 15/25 but the beginning of the year was 16/25. i deproved... this two subjects are hopeless but i really need to pass, i really wan to get better, but i just dun noe how to strive better, cos i'm just a useless intellectually CHALLENGED person like charlie gordon in the flowers for algernon.

I think i will just get kicked out of school with this kind of results, and end up in some ooollloooo neibourhood school cos no one accepts dumb intellectual challenged people who doesnt do well in any areas and now, my table tennis is like screwed cos of my KNEE injury (hopefully healed - but i guess not)
Open house booth for service learning preparations and Research Studies projects. They just keep coming never give us a break. I AM DUMB, I AM CHARLIE GORDON, I AM JUST SOMEONE USELESS...haiz... who doesnt do well in studies at all, and shouldnt be in RGS, not fit to be one student of this branded nice school.

Thanks edwin for posting (: FINALLY

<3haiqing

I was here (: